


all these little things seem to matter so much

by thatwasanticlimactic



Series: love will do what it does (winter femslash week 2021) [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (don't worry Jin gives her one), ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Bending (Avatar), Established Relationship, F/F, Gen, Hurt Jin (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Jin (Avatar) Has ADHD, Jin (Avatar)-centric, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), No-Graphic Injury, protective girlfriends are protective, so she lives in Ba Sing Se in this story:), we love Azula getting the care and affection she deserves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwasanticlimactic/pseuds/thatwasanticlimactic
Summary: All it had taken was one wrong move.They were going on a walk. The sun was out, it was early morning so the streets of Ba Sing Se weren’t terribly crowded. Their shoulders were touching while they walked.Azula was smiling widely, she looked relaxed, content, and like she was living in the moment. That was all Jin ever wanted for her, it was all she deserved.Four months living in Ba Sing Se had done wonders for her; she was glowing.All it had taken was a loud crash from behind as a cabbage cart fell apart, collapsing to the ground due to whatever weight had fallen on it for her to panic.In a matter of seconds, the weight of Azula’s shoulder was gone.[orAzula accidentally burns Jin and feels terrible]
Relationships: Azula/Jin (Avatar)
Series: love will do what it does (winter femslash week 2021) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137812
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34
Collections: Winter ATLA Femslash Week 2021





	all these little things seem to matter so much

**Author's Note:**

> this is written for day five of atla femslash week following the prompt "bending"!
> 
> yes, the title IS from the steven universe song "here comes a thought" and yes you SHOULD listen to it because it's beautiful and actually fits the oneshot better than i realized??? i came up with the idea first and the title because i have a sticker on my laptop from this song ngujyhmnygg
> 
> there is slight cabbage violence at the beginning

All it had taken was one wrong move.

They were going on a walk. The sun was out, it was early morning so the streets of Ba Sing Se weren’t terribly crowded. Their shoulders were touching while they walked.

Azula was smiling widely, she looked relaxed, content, and like she was living in the moment. That was all Jin ever wanted for her, it was all she deserved.

Four months living in Ba Sing Se had done wonders for her; she was glowing.

All it had taken was a loud crash from behind as a cabbage cart fell apart, collapsing to the ground due to whatever weight had fallen on it for her to panic.

In a matter of seconds, the weight of Azula’s shoulder was gone.

Jin knew Azula exceedingly well for only knowing her for four months and having dated her for three and a half, so she knew where her mind went and she knew what was coming. Which was exactly why she immediately moved to Azula’s other side in hopes of making eye contact before she did something she’d regret.

So, she reached out, because she would always reach out for Azula.

That was the last thought she remembered having before a burning pain shot through her left palm. It was a kind of agony she had never felt before— a kind that tore at her skin and melted her bones. 

A piercing scream ripped from her throat and she stumbled backwards out of Azula’s way, eyes squeezed shut.

Her hand had quite literally been on fire.

“Jin?”

Through the pain (and it was strange, she never pictured pain being an actual sound, but the ringing in her ears proved otherwise), she heard her girlfriend call her name, shrill and terrified. So, she fought through the agony, forcing her eyes open and blinking fiercely to steady her vision.

“Mm, ‘zula?” she mumbled, only now realizing she was biting the inside of her cheek. “You okay?”

“I— of course _I’m_ alright!” Azula shrieked, her voice reaching clipping levels. “I burned _you!_ Are _you_ alright?”

Jin was about to respond that she was (yeah, no, that hurt. She was definitely not alright, but it could have been a lot worse, especially since it was only her hand and not something more vital) when she realized that all of the vendors preparing their stands and the few people who were out were all staring at them. A couple of men began to approach them, but Azula’s back was turned so Jin nodded her head in their direction. She knew Azula would rather know ahead of time than be taken by surprise.

Azula spun around, not before Jin could see her chest heaving as she took labored breaths, her shoulders tense and hands once more at the ready.

“Is everything okay over here?” one of the men asked, and Jin thought he sounded pretty genuine, especially considering there was still some animosity towards the Fire Nation and Azula was clearly a firebender.

“Yes, everything’s fi— no, do you see _her?_ She’s— I—” Azula screeched, her hands climbing towards her hair and beginning to pull, an old habit she had.

“Azula, hey, none of that,” Jin said, reaching her non-injured hand out to try to stop her.

The bender flinched before she even made contact, pushing herself further and further away. “No, don’t touch me!” she demanded, pulling out a (thankfully) small chunk of hair. _“Don’t touch me!”_

“Azula, I’m okay. See?” Again, she held her good hand out, guestering to the rest of her body. “It’s just my hand. I bet Iroh can fix this really quick, right? So, let’s just go see him and everything will be fine. It’s okay.”

Azula didn’t look like she believed her, and Jin honestly couldn’t blame her. Heck, _she_ barely believed herself! The pain in her hand was horrific— it was searing, uncontainable— and she was doing everything in her power not to cry or scare Azula anymore than she might have.

One of the men took a step closer to Azula, and Jin wanted to tell him not to because he would only make it worse, but she couldn't find the energy to. The other was closer to her, holding a hand out to steady her if she needed it. She was grateful for their willingness to help them, really, she was. But she knew Azula wouldn’t feel the same way.

“Are you okay?” one of the men asked Azula, looking rather concerned.

“No, I’m— yes, _I’m_ fi— no—!” Her words were choppy and not entirely whole. Watching her girlfriend panic hurt just as much as her hand.

“Azula—” she began, taking a step towards her.

Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds, and Jin could see the guilt swimming in the depth of Azula’s golden ones.

Jin reached out just a bit further, hoping to drag her back to the present. Not even the present, just back to their love and out of her own head and memories.

For a moment, she thought it had worked. Most people found Azula hard to read, but to her, she was as easy to read as a book. Understanding Azula was natural, the little click in her brain that lit up her world and the way she viewed it.

She had lowered her chin— lowered her guard. Some passersby had walked away, realizing that everything was (mostly) alright. And that was good— it took the eyes off of Azula which is what she needed.

But then, one of the men took a step closer to her and he took it with pure intent. That alone wasn’t enough to prevent her instincts from kicking in— her _kill or be killed_ instincts, the unavoidable nature that was burned into her from the youngest of ages.

She saw that step forward, and the inner terror she held inside of herself was released. So, she ran.

And Jin started to go after her, but the other man stopped her. “Your hand,” he said, voice laced with concern. “You need to go to a healer.”

She grimaced, looking back in the direction Azula had gone in. She couldn’t see her anymore, but that didn’t surprise her; Azula was fast and Azula was smart.

“I know you want to find her, but your hand needs immediate attention,” he continued softly. “Do you need help getting to a healer?”

She shook her head. “No, I-I know one. Thank you.” Jin nodded at both men in thanks before sprinting away as quickly as she could without jostling her hand too much. She needed to get to The Jasmine Dragon immediately.

* * *

Iroh was cleaning a table when she burst through the door. “Iroh, I’ve got a problem.”

When he glanced up at her, she merely held her hand out for him to see, looking away so she wouldn’t have to see it.

Without missing a beat, Iroh was ushering her to the back of the shop, pulling jars of what she assumed were ointment from cupboards. “Sit down, Jin,” he told her, placing the jars on the table then grabbing a cup. “This is going to hurt, so I am going to have you drink some tea that should help with the pain.”

“Thanks, Iroh,” she said, allowing herself to wilt into a chair beside her.

She didn’t pay too much attention as Iroh made the tea. The pain was starting to become unbearable. Almost like the feeling of her hand being shredded. As much as Jin hated to admit it, tears began to prickle at her eyes and fall down her face.

At least she could take comfort in the fact that she didn’t cry in front of Azula.

Her breath sounded like it was rattling in her chest, or maybe it sounded a bit more like wheezing. Her body felt so hot, so overwhelmingly hot that for a moment she thought that maybe her hand was still on fire. She still didn’t look though.

Iroh handed her a cup of tea which she gratefully downed. Jin knew she had a rather high level of pain tolerance, so it must be bad if it hurt this much.

The tea was kind of disgusting, definitely not her favorite blend. It was still better than the alternative, though.

“I’m going to apply some salve and then bandage your hand,” explained Iroh, kneeling in front of her and gently taking her hand. “Tell me what happened, that way your mind will be occupied.”

“It was stupid, Iroh,” she huffed, wincing at the first brush of his fingers against her burn. “There was a loud crash this morning at the market and I think Azula panicked. And I saw that she was going to panic so instead of just talking to her, I moved and got in her line of fire, I guess. But it was an accident— _I know it was an accident._ But then people heard me scream and they saw the fire and…” she trailed off, gritting her teeth as Iroh carefully applied ointment on a particularly tender spot.

“I’m sorry,” said Iroh. Whether it was for the flash of pain that rang up her arm or the incident in general, she wasn’t sure. “Azula did not get to learn firebending in the way Zuko did. Her flame reacts in response to her anger or her fear.”

She sighed, scrunching her nose. A few more tears escaped. “I’m not mad at her,” she replied fiercely. “She was just scared. But, Iroh, she ran away before I could get through to her and it hurt _so much,_ was it… is it wrong that I came here first?”

Iroh hummed, dipping his fingers back into the ointment and going over another spot. “I cannot answer that,” he told her, simply and surely. “The only way to truly know the answer is thinking what Azula would have wanted you to do.”

“She would’ve wanted me to go to you,” Jin muttered. “She’s thoughtful like that.”

Iroh shook his head with a smile. “I think that might be reserved just for you. She likes you more than most anyone she has even known. I can tell.”

She swallowed, releasing a breath of air while she watched Iroh twist the lid back on the salve. “This is an unusual place for a burn, so please forgive me if the bandaging is uncomfortable,” continued Iroh. Jin winced as he began to wrap the bandage around her hand. “I am sorry for the pain, but I have to get this wrapped or it will only get worse. Do not put off until tomorrow what can be done today.”

“No, it’s okay. I can take it,” she replied which wasn’t entirely a lie because it still hurt a horrific amount, but it felt better than before.

“You know,” started Iroh, “many firebenders have lost control of their inner flame before, myself included.”

“Really?”

“It is unfortunate, but yes. Many, many years ago, I lost control of my rage and accidentally burned my son. That is a moment I will always regret.” His face fell at what she presumed was the mention of his late son. “You know of my nephew and his boyfriend?”

Jin nodded.

“A couple months ago, Zuko came to me in distress because he hurt Sokka. He was upset with some councillors and Sokka got in his line of fire while trying to calm him down.”

“Wow,” Jin breathed. “Zuko must have taken that hard.”

Iroh hummed. “You can say that. See, it is inevitable for a bender to hurt those they love. Ours just happens to be one of the more scarring ones. But just as the action is inevitable, so is the guilt and the forgiveness.” He gently pressed down on the last bit of bandage. “There you are. Come back in a couple of hours and I will apply more. Or perhaps you can get Azula to do that for you.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Jin laughed, albeit half-heartedly, holding her hand to her face to inspect the bandage. “Thank you, Iroh.”

“It was my pleasure,” the older man replied, smiling warmly. “Go find her, and be careful with your hand.”

“I will, I promise!” she said, standing up and heading for the door. “See you later!” She waved (with her good hand) before lightly jogging out of the shop.

She doubted Azula would have gone to either of their houses, and she most certainly wouldn’t go somewhere with too many people, so that crossed out their spot by the fountain.

Jin paused, glancing at all of the places around her. There was one place that came to mind.

A while back, Jin had gotten tea at Iroh’s shop and he had told her the story of his son, Lu Ten. He mentioned something about a tree on a hill near the outskirts of town where he went to collect himself and reminisce, sometimes to meditate.

She had no reason to assume that’s where Azula went, the bender had never mentioned it during their conversations. But she knew Azula like the back of her hand and she had this feeling down at the bottom of her soul.

And she trusted her gut.

Sure enough, her gut was correct.

Jin had gotten a bit turned around along the way, Iroh had never been too specific in what tree on the hill it was, but she stumbled upon it after a half hour.

And there was Azula, her back leaning against the truck of the tree and her head buried in between her knees.

Jin carefully approached her, not wanting to startle her girlfriend. “Hey, Azula, can I sit next to you?”

The reaction was instantaneous. Azula was on her feet in seconds, her hands clenched at her side. It saddened Jin to see her red-rimmed eyes.

“Jin, yes, hello,” she stated, clearing her throat in attempts to look casual. “I was just enjoying the view and—”

“No you weren’t.” Jin learned over the months that calling Azula out on her lies as soon as possible was the best course of action. “I’m not upset with you, ‘zula, I just want to talk to you. I’m all good now, see?” She raised her bandaged hand.

Azula swallowed “No, you’re not. You’re not at all and it’s all my fault!” Her hands were instinctively reaching for her hair, so Jin hurried forward and caught on.

“Come on, let’s sit,” she said soothingly, guiding her girlfriend back to the ground. They sat side by side next to the tree, Jin keeping her good hand firmly entwined with one of Azula’s.

“Why did you come back?” Azula whispered after a couple of minutes.

“Because I care about you.”

“You shouldn't.”

Jin hummed. “Oh, but I do. And nothing will change that, I can promise you.”

Azula let out a disgruntled sound. “I hurt you. I don’t understand why you came back.”

She sighed. “Look at me, ‘zula,” she said. The bender ever so slowly lifted her head until their eyes met. “It was an accident. I trust you. I’m not scared of you.”

“You should be.”

“Why?”

Azula shrieked. _“Because I hurt people! I’m a monster!”_

“Nope.” Her reply was immediate, truthful. “You are not a monster.”

“Then why did _this_ happen?” she demanded, gesturing towards her hand. “I thought I was getting better! And then…” She cut herself off, shamefully looking away once more.

“Hey, shhh. Azula, come back to me, okay? Please?” Jin coaxed. It took her a minute, and Jin gave her that time— there was no rush, but eventually she was back. “Do you want me to be scared of you?” she asked.

Azula opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again. “I— not, not really. But wouldn’t it be safer if you were scared of me?” At that, she looked a little dejected, almost as if she were prepared for Jin’s response to be in agreement.

“No, I don’t think so,” she said. “I would rather experience life with you then without you. I know you and I trust you; I have nothing to be afraid of.”

“But what if…” And Azula’s voice sounded so small, so frail compared to her usual authoritative tone. It broke Jin’s heart. “What if I hurt you again?”

She squeezed her hand. “Then we wrap it, and we move on. Accidents happen, love. Would you be upset if I were chopping vegetables and accidentally sliced you with the knife?”

“No,” Azula replied instantly.

“Exactly,” nodded Jin. “Don’t hold us to different standards. You’re a good person, Azula. And I love you not just as the person you’ve become, but in spite of everything that happened before.” She let go of Azula’s hand and wiped away a tear that was falling down her cheek. “Things happen, but you’re the best thing that’s happened to me. And, no matter how much you may want to, you can’t scare me away.” She relished in the sound of Azula’s giggle.

“You’re like a cat: adorable, protective, and oh-so scary,” she joked.

Azula feigned a look of despair. “Please, I’m a cat-deer if anything. Besides, if _I’m_ a cat, then you’re uh, you’re…” She furrowed her eyebrows and pouted ever so slightly. It was adorable. “You’re a bear!”

She tilted her head. “Like a platypus-bear?”

Azula smirked. “No.”

“A gopher-bear?”

“Nope.”

“Just a… just a bear-bear?”

“Yup.”

Jin snorted. “That’s stupid.”

“Well, you compared me to a cat, so I suppose we’re even.”

“Mmm, I guess,” she mumbled, leaning in and giving Azula a quick kiss on the lips.

Azula rolled her eyes, bringing an arm around Jin’s neck and pulling her closer. “Thank you,” she whispered as their noses touched. “I think… I think I needed to hear that.”

“I’m always here to tell you that when you need it, love,” she replied. “Now stop playing and kiss me already.”

“As you wish.”

The bender closed the distance, and as they kissed, Jin knew for certain that she had absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> when i first started writing for Azula, her pulling her hair out was something i kind of unintentionally made a bad habit for her??? and now i consider it canon in my mind so uhh yeah haha
> 
> the worst burn i've ever gotten was this past summer when i made ramen in a pot that was way too big so when i poured in the appropriate amount of water, it didn't cover the ramen. my immediate reaction was to beat the ramen with a spatula in hopes it would break into smaller pieces and i guess i got too aggressive and i made a rather big splash and the boiling ramen water coated my arm and i have like... a super teeny scar that will probably fade entirely in a couple of months... anywAYS so i did like... a little bit of research on burns but it is *checks clock* 3:30am so it was 3:30am research, hopefully it's mostly alright???
> 
> yeah, i have never written in Jin's POV before but wanted to try and i have also never written for Iroh before so uhhh here's to hoping it's alright haha
> 
> i'm that-was-anticlimactic on tumblr if anyone ever wants to talk about jinzula, Azula deserving therapy, or the obligatory zukka i always mention in fics:)


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